The human ego/ the delusion of separation and darkness suffers its experience when Gods ocean of experience doesn’t flow as ‘it’ would prefer…understandably…
This is the karmic cost for the privilege of appearing as a character in the amazing play of light/ form…duality…opposites..
‘It’ does not get to choose the role it is cast in :)…
Yet it does seem to have the choice whether ‘it’ bows down in reverence and humility to Gods ever unfolding creation :)…or whether it objects, resists and argues with the weather :)…
And all made welcome…
What is suffering without the human individuals mental abstraction and definition of experiencing?…without the mental conceptual container of space or time to place it in?….
Yes there is pain…yes there is loss…yes there is confusion…heartbreak…disgusting atrocious acts of violence..
But where is joy…elation…without their opposites?…
The egoic…energetic construct yearns for its projected appearance to be continuous heaven, so it avoids and resists its’ own projection of hell at all costs…
It projects/ imagines/ believes the very hell that it spends its life avoiding and being afraid of :)…
Oh how It yearns to be balanced, aligned, harmonised, open, free, complete ‘goodness’, fully and unconditionally accepted by God, pure light…
It actually yearns to be nothing:)…
Oh how it believes it yearns to be home….in the unconditionally loving arms of God…
Because it ‘believes’ itself to be bad…not home…fragmented…abandoned…not accepted by God…
It will do anything to avoid this out of alignment feeling…
Sell its mother if it promises relief from the yearning misalignment…
Sold so many stories of ‘the way’ to salvation…home…
None of them true :)…
Only Truth is true…and it’s ALWAYS HERE…unquestionably…
Speaking for itself…momentarily...
Beyond ego’s questions and answers…
It seeks the world of form over…and over…and over… again… for reprieve…respite…for answers…solutions…to become more…to become less…to become everything…to become nothing….
Continually reconfiguring itself…trying to land home safely and snuggly in infinite space :)….
What a conundrum?…
It actually yearns to merge with God….to go home…to dissolve back in to Whole Being…
It yearns to be off its own hook of responsibility; of arbitrating, of protecting, of avoiding and grasping, of resisting…of doubting….of being or doing perfectly, correctly….
Perpetually ‘trying’ to avoid its own imagined burning fires of hell…
Casting itself out to avoid being cast out :)….
Making the whole world wrong so that it can be safe and cozy in its lonely, cold prison cell of delusions of righteousness…trying to warm itself on power and dominance…desperately scrambling to be ‘more’….than less than…
It isn’t bad…just a mistaken identity…
The egos last destination is inevitably full acceptance of its ‘out of placeness’, cast out, misaligned…lost…abandoned…lonely…rejected…
Death…
All that it fears….
Of course this is the truth of what it experiences…
because it is not really here…
It never has been…
It was always a mere phantom of the human psyche…
A functionality…maybe just a glitch…
A spanner in the works of God…
Or possibly a magnificent revelation!!…
Of course It can never be HERE…
It only seemingly exists as a perfect wrinkle in the imagined fabric of time and space…
Again…merely a construct of the human psyche
An imagined construct that ‘believes’ itself to be absolutely real and true…
For soooooooo long….
AND yet never at all!!…..
When it’s had enough of the game It wants home…
It actually wants its imagined end…to its imagined beginning…
The final curtain…
But….Does it really???
Surely It’s work is done….
When IT becomes REAL….ISED…
And IT never will…
Only Gods will…
Be done…
On earth…
As it already is…in heaven…
IT ‘believes’ it is real and that it exists separately as a centre ‘within’ Gods eternal creation…
A..PART of/from God…
IT resists the discomfort and unease that ITS’ fabricated delusions create and perpetuate :)…
Belief perpetuating belief…
And so the karmic cycle goes…
For as long as It goes…
So….what to do?….
God resists nothing…
It can’t…
It is boundlessly and indiscriminately Everything…
Maybe Feel fully in to the bodily sensations…whatever is seemingly here…
All arising...
THIS…Gods boundless love…. is inescapable reality really…
Of course!!…
Yet avoided for soooo long…because the light is ‘believed’ in to unfathomable darkness…
Eternal goodness in to badness…
Be still and feeeeeel fully…
That's all...
Merge with and as….all arising…
ALL arising yearns to be accepted…felt…integrated back home in to light…
Recycled in to pure potential…
Surrender the ghost of resistance... of 'I'...…
Give it up to God…
To be at one…attuned… with whatever is here…
God's will...
As this…here…’I’ ceases……
‘I’ cease to be…anything imaginable..…
Thoughts…sensations…feelings…images….craziness…fragmentation…
All one boundless...indescribable eternity...again…
And so IT goes...
Alone again…
naturally…
As EVERYTHING...imaginable...
...and yet to be imagined...
Thoughts melting down from the head
…. in to the undefined sensations in the body…
Pure sensation...ALIVENESS...
How blessed THIS is...
Naturally peeling away ALL definition and meaning …
Melting…
In to oblivion...
This moment too shall pass…
…passing through on its journey back home to God…
Here ‘I’ am eternally free….
Within the boundless arms of God...
That 'I' never actually left :)....
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