In some spiritual teachings, shared usually (but not always) by males I feel there’s a misconception that to be emotionally unreactive is to be liberated. That to be soft, kind, gentle with wide eyes and a sweet smile at all times is how an ‘enlightened’ being is. I feel this can be misleading and confusing. Yes some characters can be naturally more gentle but some are more fierce. There are no set ways of being; that is the whole point. The human is by its very nature EVERY expression. Every human is entirely unique in its expression.
To try to be ‘unreactive’ is to cultivate a safe little compartment of mind, in the head, in a peaceful, detached bubble of delusion. It may be peaceful but it isn’t truly, fully living in the raw, authentic, ‘aliveness’ of full on human experiencing. It can be so misleading and crazy making when innocent people looking for Truth who experience emotional reactivity feel that they are wrong for ‘feeling’ big emotional reactions in their nervous systems (as if they shouldn’t arise). This can cause more suppression and self rejection. The same thing is happening when we shame children for experiencing strong emotional reactivity. Seekers of Truth can feel like they are failing because they are not experiencing the unreactive peace that some Gurus impart as ‘Truth.’ That maybe be a genuine Truth for some Gurus but certainly isn’t a goal that everyone should twist themselves up in knots energetically to try to achieve. This is not judgement just intuitive observation. Liberation is fluid, spontaneous, free and messy at times.
In my humble opinion maybe some of these Gurus have not yet opened to their emotional body and have just trained their mental body in to silence….or maybe they don’t show ALL sides of their characters. They may be self realised but not yet fully integrated I.e they may have ascended beyond mind but haven’t yet returned to the body to integrate the realisation….to fully ‘live’ on earth (grounded) as IT IS in heaven. Both polarities simultaneously; the emptiness AND the full human expression. Nothing AND everything.
I feel that true liberation is to come fully home in to the bodys most natural expression moment to moment. To allow God, presence, intuition, this infinite moment, to express itself naturally, to allow God (intuition) to sit in the driving seat with clarity and authenticity, using the mind as an expressive instrument, which was always its intended purpose.
Initially when we are returning home, back in to the body (of Christ, or Source, intuition…whatever word resonates), the repressed emotions that have been stuck in the nervous system through trauma and suppression of lifetimes etc…(I.e in our attempts to stay safe and loved as children to try to conform to societies and the caregivers ‘codes of conduct’), will begin to surface. This can be really messy and disorienting, sometimes feeling like we are out of control or losing our marbles. But just imagine releasing the pressure of a sewage pipe that has been blocked for years!! Imagine what that will release?! and how messy that explosion will be!! :). Sometimes bombs go off in our safe, controlled, limited existences (if we don’t heed our intuition) but all the pieces always land exactly and precisely where they are supposed to! Just like the perfect unravelling of the universe after the Big Bang! :).
But let’s release and allow with love (as much as we can) all that has been suppressed as it arises. Let’s stop condemning ourselves for the natural arising of fierce emotions. Let’s try our best not to spew them out on others! Let’s nurture them like little lost children. Let’s give them all the space and time they need, which isn’t always convenient but I’m afraid they show up on their time to be loved and met, not our egos. Just like babies crying for food or cuddles when we are exhausted, we can’t just make them wait until we are more ‘put together” :)…Well we can try but as you know they’ll just take it up a notch!!! This is how emotions come back in to balance and wholeness by being allowed without judgement.
We must experience and come in to balance with every so called ugly emotion through our bodies, so that God, Source, light or intuition can flow freely in its EVERY expression without suppression moment to moment.
It’s like easing up on the braking system of our life force and returning to TRUST in flow, God, source or life to steer our body and creative, natural expression.
This really is living life in / with integrity. And paradoxically when we have no fear around expressing ourselves fully and freely we are naturally more confident, articulate and poised in our expression.
It is only our shadow that stifles our fullest expression. (Carl Jung wrote extensively on ‘shadow if you’re interested’). Our shadow is not the ‘enemy’ it is part of us. So when our shadows (our ‘rejected’, subconscious emotions) arise in our conscious awareness and are fully felt and allowed, the system flows with more ease and a natural confidence of expression; nothing to defend or prove.
Our ego never knows the reason for what we say and do moment to moment (It ‘thinks’ it does) but God, Source or this unknowable mystery we call life always knows the bigger picture. Sometimes our words maybe harsh, sometimes gentle, but if they are true and authentic they will always be for the highest good of all concerned, even if the others involved don’t understand or even dislike or reject your authentic expression. But when you have truly merged with God, Source or intuition, when you have truly integrated your shadow, you no longer harbour self doubt. Ego is doubt. Ego is the illusion of separation. Ego says these are ‘my’ feelings, these are ‘my’ actions so ‘I’ need to say, do, be the ‘right’ thing or that was ‘your’ action, they were ‘your’ words so ‘you’ need to……of course on the relative level we are having separate experiences but God knows no separation or bounds. It’s a challenge to write about the paradox of Source flowing as individuality but such a pleasure to try :).
The dissolution or integration of Ego is only a side effect of authentic expression. It cannot be cultivated by the mind :). You can’t ‘get there’ with so called ‘right’ action. Who knows what ‘right’ action is??!!!. Maybe authenticity in a moment is diving on a gunman because if you didn’t a thousand people would be killed! Nobody ‘knows’ what right action is…nobody has access to the FULL picture…intuition guides us only moment by moment through our body. We must be in presence…here and now to feel the guidance of the body….otherwise our actions are thought/ ego based and are referring to dead/ historical data…our arbitrary list of ‘acceptable’ or ‘correct’ action. Teachings are wonderful if they resonate but of course they are only ever pointers to your own heart/ intuition.
Liberation is true realisation that only God/ Source is… and its communication is your natural.. heartfelt intuition….moment to moment. It has no rules or codes of conduct…it doesn’t need them. It is pure unconditional love and because it is everything it could not intentionally harm a fly! As it harms another it literally harms itself. But it can have incredible wrath AND it can be gentle as a lamb…IT IS EVERYTHING!!
This really is moving in life to the beat of Gods drum (your own heart beat) or we can call it intuition. Only then will you TRULY feel alive and completely fulfilled in your natural expression.
This is living from intuition or the heart of Being.
Initially it takes great courage to express each moment in Truth…authenticity….and it can be really messy…there’s no guide book!
It then becomes so natural….
like breathing…
Just like we were as tiny children until our authentic expressions from our body were rejected.
A return home to innocent expression.
Comments